#1
“Papa, I got into St. Stephens.” She said with full excitement in her eyes. “No, beta. You can’t go there, it’s too far from home. You are a girl! We will go to a nearby college.” Replied her papa.
#2
“Malini, go clean the dishes, help your mother in the kitchen.” Yelled her father from the other room. “Papa, I’m studying. I have exam tomorrow. That boy, my “so called brother” is playing video games let him go.” She said back. “No! you have to go; you can study later. You have to raise a family in the future, because You are a girl.” Replied her Papa.
#3
A woman stood weeping, seeing her husband being cremated. “Can I do the rituals?” asked their younger daughter to her uncle. “No dear, You and your sister cannot do the rituals, neither does your mother, because she is a woman and you both are girls.” Said their uncle to both the girls. “But Maa, he loved us the most, and so do we.” Said the little girl to her mother with her eyes welled up. It left her mother speechless.
#4
“Ok, now do what I say.” Ordered her husband. “No! I cannot do that.” She rebelled. “It is a wife’s duty to satisfy her husband, c’mon do it.” He ordered again. “No, I said I can’t.” she said frustrated. “Whether it is bedroom or Kitchen, you have to obey my orders because you are a woman.” Said the husband.
These are some of the typical conversations that we hear in a middle-class family in India. When a girl is born, she is taught to idealize these stereotypical concepts. All she has to do is, go to school and be the topper and later a nearby college so that she could get a degree to become a teacher. Before she starts building her career, i.e., one month after she gets a job, her marriage is fixed. Then she is married off to have kids and then a cliché life. Every girl’s life is not the same, in this era we can see a lot more understanding people around us, but still majority shows this tedious behaviour.
Ok, we are girls. Does that mean, we cannot have a dream? We cannot have “choices”? We cannot have opinions? People say, “Hey, you should be proud that you are a woman.” But WHY? Because one among us is getting molested somewhere on earth, every day? Because we sacrifice our dreams for our family? Because we are never treated right from the person, we give our life to? Or maybe, we suffer all the pain in the world, give birth to a child and at the end he throws us in an old-age home? If it was “Dwaparayuga” or “Threthayuga”, Ok we must admit that women are given some respect and treated good. But you may ask, “What about Paanchali? She was disrobed in front of all.” Yes, but it was because even though she had five husbands it was of no use to her. She was sold to the Kauravas, her five husbands stood helpless and speechless, they should be ashamed not Paanchali who has to be. But then, Lord Krishna came for her help, but now, in this era who is there to help a girl who is being disrobed and maybe later, people will fight for her justice and talk in favour of her but can we prevent this from happening? It so a depressing factor that victim blaming is still a major issue in this technological booming era. Gender inequalities have not been irradicated from the face of earth, but when we address the problem, the society makes it looks like there is no issue at all and all are being served right. Nobody is trying to see the fact and to solve the problem, covering up the issue can only make it worse. If a girl tries to make her dream come true and fails, that is it for her. The next option is Marriage. But for a boy, “that’s ok. You have all the time in the world, so try as much as you want.” Now-a-days, men are more eager to get married than women, whatever. If she fights for her basic rights then the society will stamp her as a feministic bitch. If she comes home late hight, then she is definitely doing “THE SIN”. If she doesn’t want to marry, the talks will go like, “Does she have some problem?” “Oh, Is she a lesbo?” “Maybe she is a feminist.” Wait! Who told, a feminist doesn’t like men. All the misconception and blind beliefs have affected the minds of the people.
But, don’t you think that this stereotypical method; of thinking and assigning jobs and status on the basis of Gender; is over-rated. This indiscrimination should start from our homes, our first school. Both girl and boy should be taught to do all the chores, so that in the future he will respect his wife and also treat his children equally. In schools, girls and boys should be made to mingle. They should know how to have a conversation and deal with each other. Women are in all areas of work now, but are they treated right? However, they should be. We may not be able to change any customs or our parents, but if we are determined we may be able to bring up a generation where these toxic thoughts are not injected, where both girls and boys are not questioned for staying out late nights, where women and men are equally respected, where gender equality is maintained. It’s NOW OR NEVER.
(Inspired from real life incidents.)
-Aamy
Aamy's blog 