“We all are main characters in our own stories. Everybody is unique and it is how we make us of it makes a superhero.”, something my psychologist told me today. As cliche as it sounded, it stayed with me.
But, are all of us superheroes? If so, why do supervillains exist?
Maybe because every superhero has one. Not somewhere out there, but within.
Now, that is something I resonated with. There is a whole new person inside me waiting the whole world to be silent so she can finally come out. Somebody I don’t completely recognize, someone I have spent years trying to escape. In broad day light I claim things which are politically correct and the things people expect me to say. But, when nobody is looking I may do the exact opposite of what I claimed to be.
I have always felt the need to be good, not because I genuinely believed in every version of goodness I displayed, but because I was afraid of being judged.
That is how I was trained. To look good in other people’s eyes while being dishonest with myself.
There was a time when every compliment about my character felt like another gold medal in my collection of the “Other People’s Opinion Championship.” I treasured those medals so much that I buried every uncomfortable thought, every doubt, every opinion that didn’t fit the image I had built.
I thought I was doing everything right.
I should have known it would eventually backfire.
For a while now, I have noticed my growing intolerance toward the world around. I couldn’t stand people who were fake or pretentious, to be exact. Even at home, I found myself losing patience whenever my parents tried to impose their opinions on me. They desperately wanted me to become the person they believed I should be.
Like a caged bird that has forgotten where home is, I couldn’t find myself anymore.
I tried to stop myself from getting hurt and from hurting others, but I was exhausted. My empathy felt buried beneath years of resentment. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I wanted to do everything I had been afraid to do.
To live for myself.
To stop caring about what everyone thought.
Making that decision was terrifying.
The day I decided I needed help was also the day I came face to face with the darkest parts of myself.
Whenever I wore clothes I liked, tried a new hairstyle, or made choices that felt authentic, I was criticized. My parents probably never intended to, but little by little, those criticisms chipped away at my self-esteem.
I felt scrutinised simply for existing.
That day, I felt something I had never felt before.
An ache in my chest—not the one that hurt anymore, but one that demanded to be acknowledged.
For one long night, all I could think about was wanting the people who had hurt me to disappear. “Kill” is a harsh word, but it was the language my anger spoke in that moment. It wasn’t a plan; it was the darkest place my mind had ever wandered.
That night, I met every feeling I had spent years repressing—my fears, insecurities, anger, and shame.
Suicidal thoughts had crossed my mind before.
That night, I acted on them.
I survived.
Fortunately—or unfortunately, depending on who you ask—I got a second chance.
The day I left the hospital, I started therapy. I knew I needed it.
Looking back, I don’t think what happened was simply a battle between a superhero and a supervillain.
I think it was a battle between the parts of ourselves we embrace and the parts we spend our lives trying to hide.
We all carry light and darkness.
Neither defines us on its own.
The darkness isn’t proof that we’re villains; it’s proof that we’re human.
Real courage isn’t pretending the darkness doesn’t exist.
It’s acknowledging it, understanding it, and choosing—again and again—not to let it decide who we become.
Maybe that’s what being a superhero really means.
Not being fearless.
Not being perfect.
Just refusing to stop fighting for the person you want to become.
So where are you in your own character arc?
Are you becoming the hero of your story…
Or are you, like me, still learning to make peace with the villain within?
-Aamy
#MentalHealth#Therapy#Healing#SelfDiscovery#PersonalEssay#MentalHealthAwareness#Growth#Authenticity#InnerJourney#Reflection#HeroWithin#VillainWithin#CharacterArc#InnerBattle#FindingMyself#OwnYourStory#Becoming#Superhero#HumanNature#Duality
Aamy's blog 